Monday, November 12, 2012

Week 3 NBA Fanalyst Rankings: Coaching Edition


Which coaches will do the best job of getting their teams to successfully execute their philosophies in the third week of the NBA season?

There are two sides to every NBA Power Ranking: the Fanalytical and the Fanatical. As a Miami HEAT blogger living on the east coast, MHI plays the fanalyst for the Eastern Conference. As a Denver Nuggets fan living west of the Mississippi River, Mrs. NBA plays the fan and provides the slander. The roles are reversed for the Western Conference.

1. Miami HEAT (5-2, prev. rank: 1)

MHI: Coach Erik Spoelstra is famous for his Pace & Space offense, but the “Pace” part relies upon his defense-first philosophy with the core principles of packing the paint and pushing the ball off misses. It will be tough to play 3 games in 4 nights with pace this week against the Rockets (on 2nd night of a back-to-back), Clippers and Nuggets (another back-to-back). If the HEAT are 6-4 or better by the end of the week then it means the players played with as much pace as they could muster in Spoelstra’s system.

Mrs. NBA: HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO PUT MIAMI FIRST AFTER THAT GRIZZ SMACKDOWN LAST NIGHT!!! MIAMI MADE WAYNE ELLINGTON LOOK LIKE A FREAKING SUPERSTAR. I HAD MIAMI WINNING! I NEED A FREAKING REFUND!

2. New York Knicks (4-0, prev. rank: 2)

MHI: Coach Mike Woodson preached in training camp that he wanted the Knicks to be the best defensive team in the NBA this season and after 4 games, they’re ranked 1st in defensive efficiency. A back-to-back against 2 top 10 offenses in San Antonio and Memphis will test the Knicks’ compliance with Woodson’s defensive philosophy this week, but he’ll be able to reinforce his principles in games against the 27th and 28th ranked offenses in Orlando and back home vs. the Pacers to end the week 2-2 and stay atop the Eastern Conference standings.

Mrs. NBA: New York will get a TRUE test this week; 4-0 against a hurt Sixers and Mavs team? YAWWWNNNN!

3. Chicago Bulls (4-2, prev. rank: 5)

MHI: Coach Tom Thibodeau is the most meticulous defensive coach in the NBA so it’s no surprise the Bulls still rank 2nd in defensive efficiency despite losing their best defensive role players (Omer Asik and Ronnie Brewer) in free agency. The Bulls begin the week with 2 games vs. the below average offenses of the Celtics and the Suns but end with a back-to-back against the top 10 offenses of the Clippers and Blazers. Looks like the Bulls will start their annual circus trip with a 2-2 week.

Mrs. NBA: BOOZER STILL SUCKS!!!

4. Philadelphia 76ers (4-2, prev. rank: unranked)

MHI: Coach Doug Collins delegated responsibility for the defense to assistant coach Michael Curry, and he devotes his photographic memory to obsessing about the offense. It’s been a negative obsession so far for the Sixers. They rank 26th in offensive efficiency but don’t have to play a top 10 defense in a 4-game homestand this week. That’s a great recipe for going undefeated without Andrew Bynum and challenging the Knicks for 1st in the Atlantic Division.

Mrs. NBA: Bynum may not be ready to play until January and can they afford playing the better teams without a main offensive option?

5. Boston Celtics (3-3, prev. rank: 7)

MHI: Coach Doc Rivers is known for being a great players’ coach with innovative offensive plays and a perfect defense for Kevin Garnett. The perception hasn’t matched the reality so far. The Celtics’ below average offense will get crushed by the Bulls’ defense Monday night and then the old legs behind their below average defense play 4 games in 5 nights against the Jazz, Nets, Raptors and Pistons. If Doc is the coach he’s perceived to be, then he’ll find a way to go 3-2 this week.

Mrs. NBA: BOSTON SHOULD BE DEAD LAST!!! I KNEW YOU WERE A CLOSET BOSTON FAN! YOU DISGUST ME!

6. Atlanta Hawks (2-3, prev. rank: 3)

MHI: Coach Larry Drew introduced himself as a players’ coach when he got the job but how valuable that will be remains to be seen. Will it help recruit players in free agency during the offseason or will it just help them re-sign Josh Smith and maintain the status quo? It won’t matter who’s sitting on the bench this week. They should go 2-1 on their road trip against the Blazers, Warriors and Kings.

Mrs. NBA: *YAWNS* Atlanta is as pitiful as their fan. Yes, they have one mutha fucking fan. And that one mutha fuckin fan is always in my mentions looking like a skinny Michael Jackson, but the problem is, I think it's a girl. BURRRRNNNNNNNNN.

7. Milwaukee Bucks (3-2, prev. rank: 8)

MHI: Coach Scott Skiles is known for being a tough coach with a physical defensive style. The Bucks rank 27th in opponents’ free throw attempts per shot, which seems to imply they’re hacking teams and making them earn their points at the line. If Skiles wants to earn another contract to coach the Bucks, he can’t let the Pacers or Hornets leave their building with a blowout win like the Grizzlies did last week. A 2-1 record is a must for the Bucks this week.

Mrs. NBA: Where's the venison at?

8. Brooklyn Nets (3-2, prev. rank: 4)

MHI: Coach Avery Johnson puts so much focus on defense that he gives the players quizzes. It’s only fair since the entire season is a test for Johnson on the last year of his contract. Nets players and coach failed their first test when they let 4 white boys on the Timberwolves run them off the court IN BROOKLYN. Biggie Smalls is STILL rolling over in his grave. Thanks to 2 games vs. the Magic, the defense has improved from 28th to 13th this season. That should be good enough for the team to go 2-1 vs. 3 below average offenses this week (Cavs, Celtics and Kings).

Mrs. NBA: Brooklyn should be outta of these rankings for that damn mascot alone. FUCK OUTTA HERE!

1 comment:

  1. How could you leave out Vinny Del Negro whose Clippers have beaten the Heat, the Spurs, Portland and Atlanta? I hope it's not because they did beat your beloved Heat.

    ReplyDelete